„You’re Too Nice!“ – Is Kindness Dead in the Workplace?

„You’re Too Nice!“Is Empathy Dead in the Workplace?If there’s one phrase I’ve heard most often in my career, it’s this: “You’re too nice.”

I don’t want to live in a world where kindness is seen as a flaw. Perhaps some people confuse kindness with a lack of boundaries—and yes, it’s easy to be taken advantage of if you’re always trying to be nice. I’ve had my own experiences with that fine line being crossed. But I firmly believe that kindness has been one of the main factors, if not the biggest, that helped me get to where I am today.Is „Niceness“ Still Considered a Weakness?In our world, “being nice” is often seen as a predominantly female trait. And given that the workforce has long been (and in many places still is) dominated by men, this trait is sometimes viewed as a weakness. The stereotype is that to be successful, you need to be tough, stand your ground, and never show vulnerability.

Spoiler alert: I’ve done the complete opposite throughout my career. I’m here to challenge this outdated idea and to show that empathy and kindness are not barriers to success but pathways to it.Leading with Empathy: My JourneyWhen I was given my first team to lead, I was fortunate to work with an incredible group—many of whom were also “too nice,” and yes, most were women. This team appreciated my empathetic approach to leadership. I listened to them, understood their concerns, and put their well-being first, even when it meant making my own work more challenging.

I’ll never forget one particular instance. A team member was nervous about resigning because she’d had negative experiences in similar situations before. She was visibly relieved when I simply said, “I completely understand. I’ve noticed how the workload has affected you these past few months.” She cried from relief, and I cried with her because I empathized with her struggle. A resignation discussion is never pleasant, but to hear that she hadn’t slept well in the week leading up to our talk hurt me deeply. No one should feel that way.Respecting Different Perspectives to Stay KindI believe that experience and exposure to diverse perspectives help maintain tolerance and empathy toward others. During my time working in an agency, I always tried to remain kind and professional. However, my clients didn’t always reciprocate this kindness. When I transitioned to the company side, I promised myself that I would never treat agency teams the way I had been treated.

Here’s a tip for anyone working with agencies: Be nice! Even if you have complaints—and sometimes you will—you can communicate them kindly. In my experience, many agency issues are due to miscommunication, incomplete briefs, or clients being unclear about what they want. When you show respect to the people you work with, things move more smoothly, and you foster a positive, collaborative environment.Helpfulness Builds Bridges—But Know Your LimitsBeing helpful has always been my approach to building relationships within the team. Yes, it’s true that I’ve sometimes taken on more tasks than my role required, and it’s led to moments of burnout. But on the positive side, it created a support network. When I helped colleagues from different departments, they were quick to help me in return, often going above and beyond when I had an urgent need.

However, here’s a word of caution: if you find yourself constantly giving and never receiving the same support in return, it may be time to step back. Kindness is a strength, but it should never come at the expense of your well-being.The Small Gesture of Kind EmailsOne small but impactful way to practice kindness daily is through email. While the trend may be leaning towards shorter, more concise emails, adding a friendly question about someone’s day or referring back to a previous conversation can go a long way. Showing that you care about people as individuals, not just as “work contacts,” helps build goodwill and trust. For me, this approach, combined with clear communication, has helped me achieve nearly every goal I’ve set out for myself.Kindness is a Strength, Not a WeaknessIn short, kindness is not a weakness. On the contrary, it opens doors and strengthens collaboration. What can make it seem like a “dangerous” trait is when people take advantage of it, assuming that you’re too nice to say no. This can happen anywhere—in any company or even in personal settings.

However, I’ve come to realize that it’s unreasonable to expect everyone to think or feel the same way I do. We all come from different backgrounds, and our minds are shaped by our unique experiences. No one else will see the world exactly as you do.Embracing Kindness as a Core ValueAt the end of the day, kindness is a choice, and I choose to embrace it as a core value. I believe that kindness in the workplace is essential for a healthy, productive environment. It helps us connect, collaborate, and support each other, creating a space where everyone can thrive.

So, if you’re “too nice” like me, wear it as a badge of honor. Just remember to set boundaries, protect your well-being, and keep showing the world that kindness and success can—and should—go hand in hand.